We're Back! Well, I'm back.
Reference links: Good Morning Vietnam, Dante's Inferno (Poem), The Divine Comedy, Dante's Inferno (Game), God, Customer service, Black Eyed Peas.
We're back, here's the news. All the news that's new and approved by the US Army, the sweetest smelling army in the world. Alright, not the most obvious of references, but a reference none the less. Good Morning Vietnam for those of you who are scratching your heads.
You should have noticed, as long as your paying attention, that the site is totally new. It shouldn't be that hard to see since you're looking at it right now, and also I've not been here in like 6 months or something. I took the site down to re-design and to get back into it. I blogged elsewhere for a while, writing nonsequential posts and just finding out what made it fun for me again. So now I'm back. My posting style has changed whilst I've been away as well. Up the top of the post, below the title you will see the reference links. It's basically a list of topics I'll cover over the course of the post that you may not be fully familiar with, or may just want to know more. This way, if there is anything I mention that you want to see more of, you can click the relevant link at the top. Genius! Alright, maybe not genius. Nifty? Yeah, let's go with that.
Today, since it's been a while since I posted, I thought I'd cover a few things from recent memory to get us up and running again. I won't be posting every day, I don't have the time to do that, but I will be posting as often as I can. Firstly, I'm going to re-post a blog entry I did over at wordpress.com since it's happening more and more frequently. For anyone that's read it before, it's ok, you'll notice that I have increased the rage to reflect my current feelings on the matter.
"Are you sure?": Tales of Retail Hell.
You’re ill. You’ve never taken any medical based classes in your life. You go to the doctor. When he’s worked out the problem and told you the diagnosis, do you ever say “Are you sure?” No, you wouldn’t. "Are you sure? What with my extensive medical history and the fact I'm forever being consulted by world class medical practitioners, I think you're wrong."
There seems to be a… rash… of customers at the moment who seem to doubt the advice I give them, despite seeming completely clueless about the topic they wish to discuss. Case in point:
Customer: “Do you have Call of Duty 6?”
Me: “There is no Call of Duty 6. What you’re after is Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2. People think it’s number 6 because it’s 2 after number 4, but in reality there are more than 10 Call of Duty games.”
Customer: “Are you sure?”
What should follow is, “Yes, I’m sure. I’ve been playing video games since I was very young, I own the vast majority of gaming consoles, it is my main hobby. I am a huge geek and work as a manager in a video game shop. I think I know what the fuck I am talking about.”
This coincides with another theory about my customers that I had recently. Whenever a customer has a problem with a product or a question about something, I get the sense that they call some sort of family meeting. They then sit down around a table and think “Right then, I have a problem with my wireless network adaptor for my 360. Even though I know about it, I’m not going to go to the shop with it. Instead, I’m going to get the most clueless individual in the house, who may as well be retarded and have no hands, to go. That's you mum. When you go to the shop, say that it doesn't work, but don't give them any other information than that. If they ask you anything, never directly answer it, just be vague. Now go, go forth and ask”.
So the mum shows up at the shop and says ”This isn’t working, but I don’t know anything about it, so when you tell me what I need to do I’ll just keep nodding and saying yes but not actually take any of it in. But then, after you’ve told me what the problem is and how to fix it, I’ll then ask you if you’re sure, like all of a sudden I know what I’m talking about.”
Frustration. /rant.
Gaming: Dante's Inferno and Mass Effect 2.
Dante's Inferno arrived in the shop today. I have the week off and just happened to be in to trade in my copy of Assassin's Creed II (Excellent game but I've finished it along with all the achievements so I thought I'd get rid of it), so I picked it up. I got the limited Death Edition.
It's got some sexy box art. Cicky clicky.
The game itself is based on the first part of Dante Alighieri's epic poem "Divine Comedy". Inferno, which is one of three parts to the poem, follows Dante as he journeys through the 9 circles of Hell. So far, and bare in mind I've not got very far through it at all yet, the game has stuck very closely to the poem. All the circles are where they should be and characters are named correctly. The combat is slick and brutal and it's visually stunning. I'm about to battle with King Minos which should be fun. Just before I unlocked an achievement for "Killing 20 Unbaptised Babies". It's achievements like that, that make me love a game.
Previous to this I was playing the amazing Mass Effect 2. The sequel to 2007s Mass Effect. It's an immense game with some of the best dialogue ever, as well as some of the greatest story choices ever. If you haven't played it yet, I suggest you stop reading this right now and go and get it.
Religion: Feb 3rd is Official Attack Chris Day.
So I had to go to the doctor's today to get some medicine prescribed for when I have to fly in a couple of months. I'm nervous about flying and so i take some sedative type stuff. Anyway, I was on my way out when I got pounced by Mormons. They had me up against the wall and grilled me about God and his universal plan to make me, Chris, happy. Ever polite as I am, I made a date with them. I am to meet with them at 4pm on Sunday so they can show me the light. I will be at work showing them that hassling people in the street leaves you lonely.
After that, I went home only to find Jehova's Witnesses on my doorstep. They asked me many of the same questions. I think they're all in contact with each other. They knew where I'd be and when. It's a massive sting operation.
Really, the answer is in the question. Who cares?
They left me with a book to read before they come back and talk to me at length about it. I can't wait.
So there we have it. That's your lot for today, all that's left for me is to say, get the Black Eyed Peas album, it's excellent.
Chris out.
Written by Chris :: 3rd of February 2010.
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